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Spray Paint For Beginners: How Not To Get Your Security Deposit Back

February 25, 2011

Craft day is well underway in the H household (since it’s just me here, as B doesn’t get vacation until August and he just started working 12 hour shifts 3 days a week) and I have some sage wisdom to share with all of you crafty people out there on how to make sure you get your security deposit back, even after you decide to turn your apartment into Craftmania.  Follow along, won’t you?

Step 1:  Decide that the Friday of your school vacation week is the perfect day to tackle craft projects because it’s snowing outside and you really want to take a day to do what you want to do.

Step 2:  Find some awesome pieces at Goodwill that you want to turn into your own masterpieces.  Bonus if they are under $5 total!




Step 3:  Find some spray paint for that ugly vase that will match your new and improved dining room motif.  When you can’t find the light orange color you want, go for the next best color in your palette.

Step 4:  Clean your vase off with nail polish remover to remove any crud and allow to dry… which takes about five seconds.  Read the directions on the spray paint for the super finite details.

Step 5:  Decide that the best place to do your dirty work (since you can’t go outside) is the bath tub.  Line it with newspaper and plastic bags you have lying around.  Don’t feel quite as bad about those times you forgot to bring the canvas bags when grocery shopping.  The bags are now paying off (and you will still recycle them later).  Once done taping the higher pieces onto the wall, admire your work.

Step 6:  Shake the spray paint for about a minute and then do the first layer of paint on your vase.  Wait about 20 minutes and repeat.  Wait about 20 minutes and then repeat again until the color is what you want.

Step 7:  As you revel in the awesomeness of your newly painted vase, look at the bottom of your tub.  Does that look blue to you?  Lift up the plastic bags and realize that you have accidentally spray painted your tub too.  Panic.

Step 8:  Run to your kitchen and retrieve the Clorox Green Works.  Spray the crap out of the areas with paint.  Pray a little.  Scrub the area with the tub scrubber and see that yes, the paint is coming up.  Breathe a sigh of relief (through your face mask because the fumes are a little much… seriously… wear a mask and keep all fans in the apartment on!  They don’t joke about needing ventilation!)

Step 9:  Realize that even more of the tub than you thought got paint on it.  Scrub even more.

Step 10:  Reline the tub even more fully in order to do the shelf you got when you were a senior in college.  Wash the shelf and put in bath tub.

Step 11:  Start to spray paint one section of the bookshelf.  Realize that it is not going to work out well in the bathroom.  This needs to be left until spring.  Sneer at the present results and wait for it to dry before attempting to move.  

Step 12:  Throw your hands up and get over it.  Some projects you just have to wait for – especially when you don’t want to make a bigger mess than you already have.

Lessons learned?  (1) Spray paint is for outside.  (2) I need a garage/workshop.  (3) Clorox Green Works is awesome.  (4)  There was probably a serious chemical reaction in my bathtub because I could feel heat coming off from the Clorox/paint mixture.  That’s probably bad.  But I’m alive and the tub is clean!  (5)  Trying to spray paint a shelf while it is standing up is a bad idea.  Lay it down.

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