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My Spiritual Christmas List

December 4, 2010

I tend to have two Christmas lists every year.  This isn’t because I am ultra greedy and want everything; it’s because my brain splits up the material with the intangible.  The buy at a store or online versus the hopes and dreams and wishes for the future.

This year, my wish list of intangibles revolves around family and friends.  It has been a big year for me, becoming part of someone else’s extended family and creating my own new family unit.  I am truly blessed when it comes to my friends and family; after all, they have supported us in so many ways this year, but in my heart of hearts, I have a few wishes and hopes for the future.

1.  I wish my sister and I were closer.  I have wished this for a number of years.  We were never super close growing up, and I have always envied those who could just call up their siblings and chat the day away.  I know that if I were in need I could certainly call her any time of day, but I want a relationship where we call each other just to share thoughts, get together to hang out, and just be more comfortable with each other.

I understand that it takes two in order to achieve this, and I cannot imagine that it has been easy on my sister growing up after me.  I was kind of the poster child for good behavior.  I got top grades, graduated third in my class, was involved in tons of activities, did my homework early, went to college and graduated Summa Cum Laude, went to an Ivy League grad school and graduated with a Masters degree at the age of 23.  I married my high school sweetheart at 24 and somehow have found a teaching job for the past two years.  I sound like a freakin’ after-school special.  With our parents expectations set from me, my sister probably didn’t feel much like a person who was free to create her own path.  We are different people, but I would love to be able to share our differences in a way that creates a better relationship.

2.  I wish my parents’ health would be in tip-top shape.  My mom has had health issues since I was a senior in high school, and I wish there were something more doctors could do to just end the symptoms.  Of course, with the nature of this ailment, there is no cure.  It’s a give and take, and I know it tries on her patience and my father’s.  My father has his own (somewhat smaller) health issues.  I haven’t exactly won the biological inheritance pool, and I worry about my parents.  I love them very much and would love to see them comfortable and healthy.

3.  I wish that my husband would become the man and professional he wants to be.  Words cannot describe how much I love this man, how I have for years, and I want nothing more for him than happiness in his work realm.  Theatre has always been his passion, and moving to Maine this year was a huge sacrifice on his part for me and our finances, one that I appreciate every time I have a wonderful experience with one of my students.  It’s time for him to find the success that makes him smile and feel artistically fulfilled, whether it is attending his dream doctoral program (please please please!) or getting some sort of job.

4.  I wish my grandmother would find inner peace and someone to keep her company.  My loving grandfather passed away unexpectedly in August of 2007 just before my senior year of college began.  My grandparents had been married for over fifty years; it’s not something you can just get over.  I need to make an effort to spend more time with her when I have weekends available, but I wish there was someone else who could keep her occupied and make her feel the sting of loneliness less.

5.  I wish people would realize what they had and be grateful for it, not parade it around in other people and take it for granted.

6.  I wish I could be able to spend more quality time with my friends who live near and far.

7.  I wish I were more comfortable in my own skin and that I could achieve and maintain a healthy lifestyle that I could be proud of (which really means that I need to keep exercising and not let myself wimp out).

8.  I wish people all around the world would be more tolerant.  Especially my home state, my students, and their parents.

I’m sure there are oodles more I could put down, but as the hour grows late and my mind is shutting down for the evening, I will have to call it good for now.

What are your intangible wishes for the holidays?


One Comment leave one →
  1. Alana permalink
    December 21, 2010 5:22 am

    Ditto for number 6. Epic road trip!!!!

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